Acceptance: The Struggles of A Plus Size Woman

October 07, 2017 Add Comment Edit

These past few weeks, I can hear voices in my head telling me and mocking me: 'FAT GIRL!'

Bummer, isn't it?!

I know that I am not alone in this problem of mine. With the standards of the society, my weight isn't acceptable enough and could pass in the plus size and plus size in our society means they have given us a separate size listing i.e. plus size small, plus size medium, etc., my weight isn't acceptable because the opposite sex/your partner might be turned off, and my weight isn't acceptable because YOU constantly remind me and some that 'Hey, look at me I can wear this.' and 'Hey, hear me praising myself that I've got no flabs and fats...'

Meanwhile,

Society also tells us that we have to love our self despite of our outside appearance, we have to accept ourselves, people should not judge people, people should not make fun of other people. I mean, clearly, it's quite confusing. They tell us this and yet shows it like that.

I always tell myself that 'Tomorrow, I will start a diet.' But, guess what tomorrow never came. It's quite consuming how much it will eat your confidence - yourself taunting yourself because of how much you weigh. What's more draining is when other people just constantly slaps you in the face and telling you what a fat bastard you are. It's frustrating, really. It's not easy to jump into a diet and start exercising but you know, we can do it. If people will just believe in us, then maybe we'll start believing in ourselves.

I once had an exercise program. It was cardio and boxing. I was confident and I was really into it because my trainer didn't pull me down. He just supported me and when I say that I am gaining muscles and quite losing weight (even when I know myself that it's not that big and not that obvious), he would always say... 'Yep, yes you are. So work harder...' So yes, that's what I did. I didn't dread going to the gym. Even if it's tiring, it's fulfilling because I know at the end someone will high five me and tell me, 'Good job!' and not high five me and tell me 'Improve next session.'

It's that one thing that I would love people to say to people who are doing something for the good of themselves. For me, harsh criticisms doesn't work quite well. I am a sensitive person so you reverse psychology-ing me won't work - like you telling me what a failure I am and you expecting me to prove you wrong... just won't work. (I am not that mainstream in some aspects, so kill me.) And I know I am not alone in this. Definitely a no-no. Usually, with my kind (I feel like a different specie), we tend to succumb into self-pity if you constantly practice reverse psychology on us. And us falling into this kind of pit won't do good and won't result to positive results. It'll just bring the worst in us and unfortunately, we'll just fail.

I am not telling you to take extra precautions in talking to us or in treating us, to give us some kind of exemptions. No, it's not like that. It's just that... I don't know, really.. Maybe, start believing in us first. What I also am telling is, if you see a fat person trying to lose weight or just trying to be healthy, just leave them alone will ya?! They are there and doing it because they want it for themselves. Just don't add to their obvious burden in life. And if you got something to say, just keep it with you until....