My PCOS Story

November 06, 2017 2 Comments Edit

The doctor told me to pee on a stick. I was 17 years old and never been kissed and never been touched. I got to admit, I was surprised that she insisted. She thought I was lying and that I was afraid that my parents would get mad at me if they learned the truth.

The result?

Negative.

(What would it be anyways…)

I was most probably delayed for almost half a year back in the days. I wasn’t worried that much because I loved the feeling of not having to mind the period, the pads, the mood swings, dysmenorrhea and the leaks for a long time. My mom though, very worried. Totally worried that she decided to let me checked right away.

Result?

I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I was 17 back then and didn’t have any idea what was it about and what it was all about. Because we were in the middle of a money problem back then, we stopped at that. We didn’t follow up after they showed us the ultrasound results. On our mind back then, it wasn’t serious so it was fine, maybe, to leave it like that.

I started taking hormonal pills when I was 20. I didn’t do anything about my PCOS for the last three years and I don’t think it affected me in any way. I had periods, yes, but just for a few times in the past years.

Cystic acne. Facial hair. Hair loss. Stress. Anxiety.

These were but a few of the things that I had suffered from when I turned 25. It was the toughest time of my life. I did not go out at all. My social life suffered and I was just contented working at home until past midnight or even early in the morning. I didn’t even want to look at myself in the mirror or even if I had the guts, I totally hated what I see. I cried uncontrollably when alone and it was a disaster.

I was on and off with my hormonal pills because of its side effects and, let’s be honest, it’s pricey but I got to admit leaving a budget for my PCOS and my health and not thinking about how much it was in the long run was an immense help. I stopped counting how much I spent already and just continued taking it until maybe my system got the hang of it. I became bloated and I gained weight, sure, but it was a relief.

I got good facial skin for quite a couple of years now. Just no zits but you’d still see the scars. But hey, it’s part of a difficult journey so I am fine with that. I got the hang of my hormonal pills and even if my diet isn’t a healthy one, at least I didn’t get to the point that I got to be that heavy that will make my condition worse.

Now, I am embracing it as a part of me. I am thankful that I still get to be a woman monthly even with the help of medicine. Possibly, I’d get to be really serious in being healthy and let’s see where it will get me. For me, it’s a trial and error process on what would work for me and what would not. I am really praying hard and doing what I can to make everything close to normal.

I still have PCOS. I still take my hormonal pills. I still feel down sometimes because of it but it’s different now. I have accepted it. And I can live and overcome it.

I will.

One step at a time.