My Super Mom

January 24, 2018 Add Comment Edit

My heart broke into pieces when the time came that I would be leaving my mom alone. I was torn. Did I really wanted to leave? Did I really wanted her to be alone? Did I really wanted to do something for myself? I didn't know the answer then. When I hugged her to say my goodbyes, I cried.

My mom used to tell me that I won't have any problems leaving home and I won't be missing any one so much. She used to tell me that most probably I won't feel any homesickness at all - that probably there isn't so much crying that is going to happen. I am not sure she if that was for me or for her. But it didn't matter. What I am sure was that there was no going back. I am really leaving. It was tougher than I imagined. When the days passed by and as the day of my flight came nearer, I started to have second thoughts. I was thinking that maybe it isn't really a good idea that I would be leaving home and I would be leaving her alone. I was thinking that maybe I could make ends meet with my job back then, maybe life's satisfaction would be coming back at me - that the boredom in life I was experiencing back then was just a phase. Maybe, maybe everything was going to be okay.

But I guess, it wasn't.

It was a surprise for me that she's fairing well living alone. I mean, she's used to have someone with her always. I've always known that she is stronger than most people think about her. The fact that she clearly fought sadness and loneliness since my father left us and continued life as it is is a clear evidence of how strong she is. But now, she is 'literally' alone and that is a different thing. It takes more than being strong to live a life like that, that's for sure. I know that she spends most of her days making her lifestyle an active one. She joins activities promoting a healthy lifestyle with her friends. And I can see that she is happy with it. I can see that it makes her hours and days faster.

Now, I know that she is fairing good living alone. There may be times when she feels really lonely like I feel lonely, too in some days here. I guess that feeling won't go away any time soon or maybe never. But me worrying about her is not going to be an issue because I know that she can do it and she will do it.

Yes. That's my super mom.